January Blog

2012 ! Who thought we’d ever get this far ? When I was a kid, centuries which began with a 2 belonged to Dan Dare or Tomorrow’s World, we all had personal jet packs, Earth was part of an interplanetary federation, and robots did the hoovering. Well its not happened, has it ? True, James May did demonstrate a jet pack a while ago but it was a bit rubbish and was tied to a pole to stop it jetting anywhere; robots exist and one or two hoover and can say, “Hi, my name is Cookie” but they cost 9 trillion dollars each, so Dyson’s safe and good old Earth’s come nowhere near making peace with itself, let alone anybody “out there”

Some stuff has changed though. Personal communication options multiply. Amazing electronic pathways which allow Joe and Jo Public to tweet mind – numbing banalities abound. Mobiles take photos, have satnav, and apps which can tell us the rate at which elephants’ teeth grow. News coverage is wall-to-wall and the collapse of various middle eastern states and the emergence of revolutions wouldn’t have happened [we’re assured. Possibly by Nokia] without the ubiquitous mobile. How did the French manage in 1789 ?

Mostly though, stuff happens as its always happened.

The rich get richer and the rest of us try not to get poor. And the poor ? Well they get told, over and over, that we’re all in this together. Who tells them ? The rich, aka D Cameron, N.Clegg and smarmy G Smugborne, that’s who.

Fear not ! The repeated body blows of austerity will soon be softened. Our hearts will swell with national pride, for The Olympics cometh ! Ages ago, a little wiry chap called Coe told us that the UK wasn’t in the business of competing with China et al in the Posh Opening Ceremony Stakes, and I for one thought that commendable. Not so now. Only last week , Dave [M.P. P.M.] reversed that decision and now the opening of London 2012 will blow worldwide socks off. At enormous cost.

Why ? Well its all to do with unpopular governments needing deflectors. Mrs Thatcher had the Falklands. Dave’s had Libya. But nasty little conflicts don’t last long in the public consciousness. And Dave’s got the Olympics up his sleeve. A wonderful diversion. Weeks and weeks of athletic Strictly Come Running ,Jumping and Splashing About.

And afterwards, when the speedy types have all gone home and we’ve come third in Small Bore shooting, what happens to all the spiffy new buildings ? The Olympic Village ? Will that be turned over to the needy, the homeless ? Don’t be silly, of course it won’t. That simply wouldn’t make economic sense, because economic sense dictates that all the rich bods who’ve put money into the Olympics need to make a profit out of them, continue to be rich and, ergo, continue to order the lives of everybody else. Me ? I’m just sorry we never got jet packs.

Happy New Year !

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