Happy New Year ! Right. That’s that out of the way. As is the alleged festive season, and soon I can risk life and limb unwinding the Christmas lights from the big fir tree outside. How on earth they’ve stayed in place through all the wind, I know not. But they did. And they were pretty. Unlike those of some of my neighbours who this year opted for Christmas lights of an un-dead blue hue.
And what of Resolutions ? Well I’m not making any. If I did, one would be not to watch any of the 5297 Cookery Programmes on the telly. But I don’t anyway, so that wouldn’t count. I wonder what the next sheepish telly craze willl be ?
How about War programmes ? It is after all, the anniversary of WW1, isn’t it ? We could designate a completely empty bit of the world, sort out a fixture list, and send all the freedom fighters, terrorists, and murderous nutjobs[inc the U.S.] there. They’d have nothing, but be given stout sticks and labels to say who they are and who they wanted to maim/hurt/kill. Teams would be limited to five-a-side. Wars would last for ten minutes. Winners would be those who maimed/hurt/killed the most of the other side. Draws would be decided by arranged marriage.
TV viewing figures would be immense. It wouldn’t work though because the rest of the world would start fighting over the results.
My 2014 sort of starts with worrying about a painting exhibition I’ve got [Gallery 3, Shrewsbury, Feb 15th]. Galleries always ask you for an Artist’s Statement. I’ve read lots of these and quite frankly, many have their heads firmly up their bottoms. And I’ve got this thing about how the world of Fine Art is controlled and manipulated by canny agents who latch on to young artists [who actually might be quite good] encourage them to be OTT, then convince “collectors” to pay OTT prices for pickled sharks – or indeed, Dutch blokes with a mangled ear. These collectors create another currency. Not the one you and I use, but theirs, made of works of Art suffering from massive inflation which only they and their rich chums can afford.
Speaking of rich chums, Dave and his merry crew are still at the helm, aren’t they ? I do so wish that the Labour Party could come up with an utterly shattering something-or-other which will give them a landslide in the next election, and banish the greedy Tories to the political wilderness – where they’ll just have to get by on their vast unearned incomes.That would make 2016 a really Happy New Year.