I know people who are excited by the prospect of the approaching Referendum. I also know people who actually like Ant and Dec. Are those two things linked ? Well, in a way they are. Ant and Dec have down – home appeal. So does the idea of being able to tell loads of foreigners to sod off, via a referendum. Somehow, the notion that the United [for how much longer ?] Kingdom can stand alone appeals. OK, it did once, back in 1940, during our Darkest Hour, but that was then. Now, the countries of Europe have managed, despite their differences, to work together.
The trouble is, we’re all a bit tribal. “Well, he’s not from round here”. “Round here” refers to three or four streets. French, German and Bulgarian folk are not from round here either. So let’s not put up with their driving on the wrong side of the road, their dreadful sausage, and their love of garlic. Let’s leave and go back to Brown Sauce and The Flying Scotsman.
Boris says we should. And Boris is funny. Like Ant and Dec. And he’s got daft hair. Dave isn’t funny. His hair is serious. When was the last time you saw HIM shoot down a zip-wire? So, given that I’m no fan of the Tories, what’s the alternative ? Well that’s called Jeremy Corbyn, a man of dry wit and moral justification who wouldn’t be seen dead on a zip-wire. Shock, horror ! We can’t possibly elect Corbyn. He wants to ditch Trident [which is American]. He wants to stay in Europe. He wants to cosy up to foreigners who aren’t from round here and who dictate what shape our bananas should be.