December Blog

So, they got another Gaddafi. I say “they” without knowing exactly who “they” are. The force opposed to the Colonel’s way of running things seems like a very broad church, united only by his repression. Tribalism demands that now the ruling family no longer rules, unity will dissolve and all the bits will start fighting each other. Its what happens. We did it for hundreds of years.

As for the manner of the Colonel’s death and subsequent international hand – wringing, well that’s got HYPOCRISY written all over it. No captured leaders ever got shot out of hand in Germany, Russia, Korea, Vietnam and any of the other conflicts “won” by the west did they ? {Ooops. Factual error. The U.S. lost in Vietnam didn’t they ?}

Meanwhile, back in Cameronland, you know, that place of golden horizons we’re all in together, greedy bankers are busy circumventing measures which might deprive them of dosh. Successfully too because [a] London is the leading world financial centre and unless we allow bankers to out-earn everybody else, they’ll all decamp to Switzerland or somewhere. Well not Switzerland because that’s full of overstuffed gnomes anyway, but you get my drift. And [b] I hear rumours that the UK’s coalition government is run by individuals not averse to the benefits of banking.

But enough of that depressing stuff. Its nearly Christmas ! Hooray ! Or not. The choice is yours. And if bits of your Christmas involve sitting around with folk you haven’t really got anything to talk to about, here’s a list of things they probably don’t know and will stimulate amusing debate.

Little Known Christmas Facts

1] 60s/70s singing ensembleThe Carpenters were named after Jesus’s Mum and Dad

2] Eskimos have no words for Christmas.

3] Couples who buy each other matching sweaters have a problem. Couples who buy each other matching woks are in even greater trouble.

4] After WW2 the names of Santa’s reindeer, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Donner, Blitzen undt Messerschmitt, were tactfully changed, with Rudolf replacing the latter. [but he was no good in a tight turn]

5] Eskimos don’t get presents

6] Consuming copious amounts of brussel sprouts, chestnut stuffing,mushy peas and Guinness can lead to family breakdown and a visit from the Fire Brigade

7] Pretending not to actually know ANYTHING will make Trivial Pursuit last half the time.

8] Instructions on how to talk with a silver spoon in your mouth appear of George Osborne’s website

9] Eskimos very rarely vote in X Factor.

10] Flopping back and saying, “Well, thank God that’s over!” is normal. You do not need counselling.

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